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The Journal of the Lincoln Heights Literary Society
Miscellanea and Ephemeron

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03/02/2006 Archived Entry: "Book review: Star Trek Crosswords. Book 4"

Star Trek Crosswords. Book 4
Edited by John M. Samson
Pocket Books, New York

Review by Kitty Johnson

Me! Me! Call on me, Mr. Internet, call on me!!!

'Cause I bet I'm the only one here who has actually read Meyer Levin's The Old Bunch! And the reason I bring this up now is because I can only remember one brief vignette from it -- see, one of the main characters was developmentally disabled and the epiphany occurs when her son who is this brilliant genius who for some reason never suspects she was developmentally disabled until he looked at some of the crossword puzzles she was always working on and found they were nothing but letters randomly placed in the little boxes!!!!!

Well, I rather like that! I mean, way to go! Stick it to the puzzle man!!

Plus I suspect that we'll all be doing this before too long.

And why?

Well consider this: Star Trek Crosswords: Book FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, this book is quite the treat for Treknoscenti: Number two across: A three-letter word for your favorite Pakled's middle name!!!

Aw, I'm just janking you. Yeah, sometimes the clues are eerily enigmatic, for instance, number 7 Down, "Father of Kolax." "Father of Kolax" could probably be solved by a random collection of your favorite letters. Then again, look at "21 Down: What Picard became as 'Kamin'? Three letters." "Bald." Uh, no. "Hairy." Heee! (Um, actually, I'm a big enough nerd to know that when Picard became 'Kamin', he took up Kamin's profession as an "iron weaver". But that's not three letters. Okay, let's go to the back and look up the answer: "What Picard Became as 'Kamin'? The correct answer is "Old." Old??? Well, that's both obvious but not really in need of a clue.) Oh, look here at Number 6 across! "Riker and Troi did this in Nemesis. Five letters." Let's see, G-O-T-S-O-M-E, no, no, that's not . . H-U-M-P-E-D. No that's not it either.

Oh, I give up! I'm just too stupid for this! But I still want to act like I'm smart, so let me say this: Between email, rap music, porn films, and Star Trek, traditional spelling (and hence traditional crosswords) will become, well, just like the Klingon bird in 62 Down, i.e. "extinct."

And that's my clue for you. So I think you better buy this book while you still can.

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